Post by Jacob Sullivan on Jan 18, 2012 21:45:35 GMT -8
November 7th, 11:35 pm
What was to be done? He wasn’t the same man to make the same decision he would have made a little over a year ago. Jake stared through his cigarette smoke at the city below him. Gold on black with blue light glittered back at him. Before him was his life’s work. It was all he had, really. He’d built it, designed it with his oldest and truest friends: Cedric, Franco, Kitty. Except…she wasn’t Kitty. She wasn’t Amelia, either. Somewhere, the woman he fell in love with turned out to be two women. Yet, she’d been two people the entire time he knew her. The signs had been in front of him all this time: She switched nicknames. She switched from fiery to demure. Bold and brassy with spunk and sass to quiet, thoughtful, almost shy…
He took another drag on his cigarette and stared at the ember at the tip. A scowl darkened his face and his fist clenched in anger. Anger? Yes. He tasted the cold rage that blossomed in his chest. She could have come to him before this. When she learned her sister was pregnant, she could have come to him. After school, even. During school, too, would have been appropriate. Now? Now, after a year of hiding, lying with her life, Kitty’s come forward to reveal her secret.
Hell, she didn’t even come forward. She was found out…she’d still be hiding if it wasn’t for Gemma.
Jake looked up at the headstones under the nearest mushroom. His name was at the end of both of the people buried here. He, in part, was buried with them. A part of him died with Amelia and Sam. What was he, then? Was he an Inferius, shambling through life? He’d certainly felt like it in the early days after her death. She’d been sweet, kind, vivacious, bright. She made him laugh when he was being too serious. She made him smile even when he didn’t feel like it. His heart was buried with Amelia. And for what had she died? She didn’t even get to die as herself, but instead as one half of a lie. How was it fair that Kitty had burned her with that secret? Was she the one who had loved Cedric? How was it fair, then, that she had been burdened with him instead?
Too many questions flooded through his mind. Pacing, like he was, didn’t help. The excessive movement just made him feel even more nervous energy flood through him. He needed to decide how he felt. What did he feel towards Kitty? Is there any happiness? Is there any love? Is there any oof the dedication he had pledged to the woman bearing his child?
No.
Anger, bitterness, frustration, fear, even hate were the things Jake felt. He stopped, staring again at the headstones. His name. His heart. His love. They were buried here. Everything else, the past they had, the love they shared…it was dead.
Decision made, heart set, mind cleared finally, Jake picked his way down to the rocky shore and the boat that waited for him. On a whim, he checked his watch to confirm the time of death of his obligation and love for a one miss Kittiwick. Five minutes to midnight. What bitter irony…
What was to be done? He wasn’t the same man to make the same decision he would have made a little over a year ago. Jake stared through his cigarette smoke at the city below him. Gold on black with blue light glittered back at him. Before him was his life’s work. It was all he had, really. He’d built it, designed it with his oldest and truest friends: Cedric, Franco, Kitty. Except…she wasn’t Kitty. She wasn’t Amelia, either. Somewhere, the woman he fell in love with turned out to be two women. Yet, she’d been two people the entire time he knew her. The signs had been in front of him all this time: She switched nicknames. She switched from fiery to demure. Bold and brassy with spunk and sass to quiet, thoughtful, almost shy…
He took another drag on his cigarette and stared at the ember at the tip. A scowl darkened his face and his fist clenched in anger. Anger? Yes. He tasted the cold rage that blossomed in his chest. She could have come to him before this. When she learned her sister was pregnant, she could have come to him. After school, even. During school, too, would have been appropriate. Now? Now, after a year of hiding, lying with her life, Kitty’s come forward to reveal her secret.
Hell, she didn’t even come forward. She was found out…she’d still be hiding if it wasn’t for Gemma.
Jake looked up at the headstones under the nearest mushroom. His name was at the end of both of the people buried here. He, in part, was buried with them. A part of him died with Amelia and Sam. What was he, then? Was he an Inferius, shambling through life? He’d certainly felt like it in the early days after her death. She’d been sweet, kind, vivacious, bright. She made him laugh when he was being too serious. She made him smile even when he didn’t feel like it. His heart was buried with Amelia. And for what had she died? She didn’t even get to die as herself, but instead as one half of a lie. How was it fair that Kitty had burned her with that secret? Was she the one who had loved Cedric? How was it fair, then, that she had been burdened with him instead?
Too many questions flooded through his mind. Pacing, like he was, didn’t help. The excessive movement just made him feel even more nervous energy flood through him. He needed to decide how he felt. What did he feel towards Kitty? Is there any happiness? Is there any love? Is there any oof the dedication he had pledged to the woman bearing his child?
No.
Anger, bitterness, frustration, fear, even hate were the things Jake felt. He stopped, staring again at the headstones. His name. His heart. His love. They were buried here. Everything else, the past they had, the love they shared…it was dead.
Decision made, heart set, mind cleared finally, Jake picked his way down to the rocky shore and the boat that waited for him. On a whim, he checked his watch to confirm the time of death of his obligation and love for a one miss Kittiwick. Five minutes to midnight. What bitter irony…