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Age: 19 months
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The harsh, unforgiving cold of winter has long set in. Snow covers the ground and students tend find things to do inside as much as possible. With the Yule Ball fast approaching, students certainly have things to discuss and plan.
Politically, things are nowhere near as sound as people are lead to believe. There is turmoil amongst the ranks of the Death Eaters as Callid Warren and Fierro Darque plot against Trevor Williams, who is aided by Sienna Faber, but can she be trusted? Even amongst the people, there seems to be social unrest as SAVIOR works to free slaves and the leader of the Order of the Phoenix finds himself captured. Unification is necessary, but will it happen?
Playable: 17-31 December 2010
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Topic: Can anybody find me... {Kevin} (Read 133 times)
Kara Viridian Administrator Fugitive Order member is offline
Somebody tell me what made us all believe you...
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 109 Location: USA Karma: 4
Can anybody find me... {Kevin} « Thread Started on Jun 23, 2009, 1:10am »
Friday, October 15th 2010 later that night... (Continued from:Over My Head, the Abby)
If he'd held on to her tightly, the apparating would've gone smoothly, everything would've transferred intact, nothing would've been left behind. Kara had taken Casey (under the guise of Kevin Bristow, still) from the Abby and to her home, since he'd requested to 'go somewhere', which she assumed to be private, a place where he could bear all, since that's what he needed. All of these assumptions she was burying herself in, it seemed.
The scarred one yanked off her cloak and stripped down from all of the armor and heavy boots and everything to the necessary clothing for company: her top, her pants, socks and slippers. She'd quickly tied her hair up with a spare ribbon, she found on her counter, and offered the beat up couch to her companion. This flat wasn't much, but it was away from public eyes, away from the outside world. This was her home away from Damien's and Tutaminis, a place she felt safe enough to keep up as her living quarters.
There was more ale in the fridge here so she decided to pour herself and her guest another mug full of ale each, as not to take away from the casual atmosphere they'd had at the Abby. Now that she was a bit more comfortable, the former auror sat down on the couch and slid one of the mugs of ale toward her guest along the coffee table. She tucked her feet underneath her and sat Indian-style on it, holding her mug carefully as not to spill a drop. Balance was key, and she'd learned a lot of that while sprinting from Guards and DE's and the like on her runs.
"It's just you and me now, love." She said casually, coolly at the man who had accompanied her. Kara was trying to let him continue, since they were now in the confines of her flat.
The situation, however, seemed a little familiar to the woman as she sipped at her ale (which was not as good as the stuff on tap at Liam's). They'd been in her flat more than once now, he'd seen the way she looked in her casual, running garb and made up to go out for dinner like a real lady. Kara hoped that was enough for him to continue opening up, to finish explaining what he was getting at while they were at the pub.
« Last Edit: Jul 15, 2009, 12:38am by Kara Viridian »
Re: Can anybody find me... {Kevin} « Reply #1 on Jun 23, 2009, 2:32pm »
"I can take us there. Come on, now."
The sudden assault on his ear by her gentle voice had been unexpected, especially with as close as she had been to it. "At least she wasn't whispering," he thought to himself, but it was still jilting. As distracting as it had been, he doubted it warranted a capricious response on his part, especially if they were going to remain true to taking it slow. Besides, how fair would it be to her if he was to become a little more aggressive in that area just to forget his problems for a few minutes? It wouldn't be. So, when she offered him her hand, he took it and stood, letting her take her where they could apparate without a possible muggle seeing them before they reappeared in her flat.
He took off his own jacket and shoes when she got rid of her extra clothing. He offered her a small smile as she said now it was just the two of them, and he waited for her to get comfortable as he took a sip of the offered ale before he sat down near her. He felt uncertain about whether or not leaning against her and expecting her to know he wanted her to hold him would be appropriate, but for now he wasn't going to to do so. No, instead of continuing where he had left off before requesting to leave the pub, Casey decided to sit there quietly, sipping at his ale despite wanting to manage to down enough of it that he wouldn't have to talk about his issue with his son or deal with it for a while.
Drinking was how he'd dealt with his problems from the time he had joined the Death Eaters to spy on them for the Order to the time he had been framed by Morgana so that it seemed he had slept with her just so Trevor, then known as Trey, could get close to her and completely his mission assigned to him by Voldemort. Ever since then, he had managed to find other ways to deal, though the most recent coping method had been stopped by Evie and had been far less healthier. He just didn't have a healthy coping mechanism. Talking about his problems felt so foreign to him, but he supposed it would have to be done. He doubted Kara would let him get drunk out of his mind as tempting as it was, but maybe she'd let him get a little tipsy...hopefully.
That decided, he figured talking a little would heighten his chances of getting more to drink. "Did I seem like a horrible father to you when we were at the school?" he asked. Nevermind that she never really saw him with his kids or Evie because he hadn't wanted to give his children the chance to say something about how he acted around the family or Evie to ask a question about how he acted around her and get the wrong idea or have Kara realize his mental issues he'd been dealing with pretty heavily during that time. He just wanted to hear someone say he was a good father, and since Evie, whom he knew would say he was, wasn't here to do so, well, Kara would do. He just needed to feel better.
« Last Edit: Jul 15, 2009, 12:00am by Casey Winslow »
Kara Viridian Administrator Fugitive Order member is offline
Somebody tell me what made us all believe you...
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 109 Location: USA Karma: 4
Re: Can anybody find me... {Kevin} « Reply #2 on Jul 15, 2009, 12:37am »
There was a beat of awkward silence as she settled down beside Casey, facing him with her mug of ale held in both hands, and her eyes were fixated on his face. This was not his face, however, but the guise he chose to wore as not to be seen by the public. This was the face of Kevin Bristow, Imperium Guard. It was still strange to her, speaking to him as Casey Winslow in this skin, but Kara looked beyond his face and deep into his eyes, although this identity he had taken was unmistakably handsome. It was the eyes. Casey's eyes were the same, regardless, bright and full of life to her. But she often saw loneliness, a forlorn, war-torn, exhaustion behind those eyes.
Nevertheless, it was refreshing to hear him speak up about Julian, since he hardly spoke of his child when she was present. This showed that she was gaining more and more of his trust, and this pleased her.
His inquiry finally broke the silence, and she couldn't help but stop, mid-sip, and stare at him with wide eyes. Now, she hadn't expected that to be asked. She couldn't help but flash back to her first meeting with the Deputy Headmaster Winslow, on her return trip to the school. She'd gone into his office to speak with him, inquire about the Black Journal, request his help in the search for the truth. Upon that visit to his office, she recalled a photo of his beloved wife and children on his desk, a boy and a girl.
Kara blinked back into reality. Casey looked so beat up over this conversation he had with his son before he went to the Abby. She'd never seen him so bent out of shape. The scarred one inhaled slowly, pursed her lips and exhaled with a shrug. "From what I could remember, you were. You spoke proudly of your family. You kept a photo of them on your desk. You loved them very much."
Saying that made her a bit sad. What was he trying to do? What was he trying to prove to her? She sighed on the inside, broken up and angry with herself over this ordeal. There she went, making something center around her, that was clearly not about her. "You were...you are a good father." But still, she needed to hear more. Kara wanted to know where he was going with this. She was definitely a shoulder for him to cry on, considering the sturdy shoulder he'd offered her once before. But this made her so curious.
With her ale nearly emptied from the mug, Kara thought that she'd need to retrieve the rest of the ale soon. They'd be needing it.
Re: Can anybody find me... {Kevin} « Reply #3 on Jul 15, 2009, 1:35am »
Of course, Casey was aware of how all this could be taken, but it was an unfortunate byproduct of the topic's nature, but he had to face it or it would drive him mad because while Julian would be around for years to come if he managed to keep him safe, Lydia was dead. She was gone, and it was because of that fact that Julian has painted that villainous portrait of him as a father had hit him as hard as it had. Had he failed her, too? He couldn't help but feel guilty about it or believe his son because of how he had neglected his family because of his depression. He should have somehow found a way to be stronger. It fell back on him, all on him. But then there was the fact that Evie had taken away his coping method and alienated herself from him by forcing him to stay with her all that time, so in part it was her fault, wasn't it?
But blame shifting had never set well with Casey, so in the end, it had all was poured back in his lap. Nevertheless, it felt nice to hear the words, "You were...you are a good father." He met her eyes as she spoke as though taking in her words before taking another drink from his cup and another before lowering it to his lap, trying not to seem too overeager to drink the stuff. He was quiet for a few moments as he tried to think of his next words, wishing they didn't have to matter, but she knew he didn't have anywhere near enough alcohol in his system to possibly be out of it unless he was an extreme lightweight, but she'd seen him drink stronger and more. No, that act wouldn't work.
"I wish you could convince Julian of that," he said quietly, taking another drink. What seemed to him to be a pregnant pause followed as he took another drink. "I wish you could convince me." Here it came. Maybe it was just as well. She'd either tell him he needs to go get some professional help, pity him, or tell him to take a hike. He didn't deserve her. He had too much baggage. He was lucky she had stuck around for as long as she had. She could do so much better. Hell, even though he thought that Jaleth fellow wasn't right for her because he was doing nothing against the regime, just teaching for them, he might even be a better fit. At least he'd not drag her down like he felt he did far too often.
"Because he's right, you know?" He looked at her a moment to gauge her reaction and took a sip of his drink before continuing. "I was such a horrible father the last Lydia saw of me, the last Evie knew of me. You were my escape that year, the one person I could be normal around. I mean, the truth of it is that being in the Order fucks you up, Kara. They take and take and take, but they don't have the resources to help you with the mental issues what they ask you to do and give of yourself causes. I was nineteen, so young and naive and...so incredibly stupid when I spied on the Death Eaters. I'd been part of the Order for two years, and Voldemort had been quiet, so I thought, 'Hey, why not? I want to do something to help. It'll be over quickly.' But was it? Of course not!"
Casey paused, taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out. He couldn't do this to her. She wasn't a shrink, and even if she was, she was his friend...girlfriend...thing...whatever she was to him, so it wouldn't be right even then. He wasn't sure he wanted to put a label on it quite yet or if he was ready to at this point in time. "I'm sorry; that wasn't right. I shouldn't have said all that. Let's just talk about something else because long story short, I just feel really upset right now, and focusing on it's not going to help. I just need to relax a little and come back to it when I can think more clearly." He gave her a reassuring smile before finishing off his ale.
Kara Viridian Administrator Fugitive Order member is offline
Somebody tell me what made us all believe you...
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 109 Location: USA Karma: 4
Re: Can anybody find me... {Kevin} « Reply #4 on Jul 15, 2009, 1:59am »
"Wish you could convince me..."
Kara chuckled softly, and shrugged. She couldn't help it. Really, she wanted to help Casey, she was sitting here, listening to him, after all. But there was really nothing that could be done, on her end, except to listen. Advice came naturally, and she was going to say what came to mind, stuff that she hoped would help. Most importantly, she hated seeing him like this. Kara didn't like that his life was torn up, but whose wasn't, these days? Sure, she had her own cross to bear, but everyone nowadays was running around with one secret or another, a messed up past to chip their shoulder, make them paranoid or just plain frightened.
Casey Winslow hadn't always been like this. At least, not with her. She once viewed him as strong. Stubborn, but strong. Of course, with strength came the reason for being. In times of war, it's the pain that makes you stronger, if it doesn't kill you in the process. And every time she looked into those big, blue eyes of his, she could just feel his sorrow Even now, as he was baring his soul to her, mourning the "what ifs" and the "should bes" of his life once 'perfect' with his loving wife and children, there was strength beyond that pain.
She had to let him speak. It was the least she could do for him, and she kept telling herself that. He'd been there with the bulk of her troubles, she needed to be his rock, his adviser. "I don't mind, really. I want you to be able to talk to me. You know I will listen."
Though it was hard for her to hear his harsh feelings toward the Order. She knew that he'd gone through great trouble when he served the Order, and she knew the struggles her parents went through in their time serving the Order as well. Kara had joined the Order knowing that it wasn't going to be a cakewalk. It was something she'd dedicated her life to, and considering the fact that Sirius had left an inheritance and birthright to be a part of this organization, Kara wasn't going to let the opportunity pass because of fear. She'd lived long enough in fear, after Trevor took over all that time ago. Kara was an auror. She'd been scarred physically and mentally by war. The Order was her place, whether Casey liked it or not.
"It's fine, really. I understand." And that she did. But it didn't mean she was about to leave the Order she swore to serve, and most importantly, protect.
Then the ale ran out. For both of them, she noticed. This made her stand up to retrieve the rest of the ale that was sitting out for them, in a pitcher. She refilled the two empty mugs and returned again, this time with another full pitcher to set on the coffee table, just in case. Kara was sure they were going to need it.
"Look, I didn't know your family well before, but I know you. And I know you now, and from what I have seen, you are an amazing person, Casey. You care so much about your family, enough to risk your life to try to piece together what was shattered by this horrible reign of Trevor's. Like I said, I understand. To be honest, I envy you. I wish I could piece together the family that the wars of today and of yesterday have broken apart. You have such an opportunity. And I wouldn't want you to let it pass you by." As much as that hurt her to say, Kara was truthfully looking out for Casey's best interest. If he wanted Evie back to appease his angsty, temperamental son, by all means. But it didn't mean it wasn't going to hurt her in the process. She was ready to endure that, if that was what he wanted.
Whatever she was to Casey, she wondered if she was even important enough to factor in to the future he wanted. She took a stiff drink of her ale, and let the silence take over yet again.
« Last Edit: Jul 15, 2009, 2:01am by Kara Viridian »
Re: Can anybody find me... {Kevin} « Reply #5 on Jul 26, 2009, 1:01am »
She truly was an amazing woman, Kara was. He was bashing everything that she stood for, everything he had once stood for, and she was saying it was fine, that he could continue. It was good to know he had someone he could talk to when he was in need, but he didn't want to abuse this. So, he merely nodded and gave a quiet, "Thank you," before watching her go off to get the ale. He sat back on the couch, slouching down a little so that he could rest his head against the back of the couch. The change was coming soon. He could feel it...the slight tingling in his skin, the rippling of his muscles beneath his clothes, the ache in his bones as they prepared to retreat to his slightly shorter, smaller built stature. Even his vision seemed to be beginning to change, but he didn't exactly have the means to go take care of that. Age. Had to love it and what it brought, right?
He took a deep breath and held it a moment as he closed his eyes and brought his arms to rest on either side of him along the back of the couch, slowly releasing his breath to try to get rid of some of his stress and relax while she was gone. Maybe he should take a little more of the potion, but at the same time, he didn't wish for things to be between them as it had been the one time he and Evie had slept together since she'd been stolen. He wanted it to be real between him and Kara. He wanted her to see his face at the very least, and should he tempt fate and something happen, he wanted it to be his body, scars and all, the very scars that had kept him from his own wife for over a year when he'd received them. He swallowed, trying not to let himself relive that memory. That one time stood out above a multitude of other times being with his wife as it had had actual meaning, but it didn't matter now. He wasn't foolish. Trevor had Evie so far gone that even if he were to come clean, she would never be his again. She would never remember him and everything they had been through together. She would never remember the children. She would be a shell.
Casey inhaled sharply, squinting his eyes shut tight and rubbing his fingers along them. There was no time to cry--especially not about this. He had a reason he could give and she would likely believe as he knew how to lie well enough, but he didn't want to lie. He released his breath after a few moments, daring to open his eyes and look at Kara as she began to come back towards him with their mugs and a pitcher, which she set on the coffee table. Good. There was ale, but it was to share. It was probably just as well. There was less of a chance of getting drunk that way unless there was more in her kitchen.
Her words as she went on to speak would have made the dams break completely if it were not for the fact that he was forcing himself to focus on the feelings of his body beginning to change. The rippling and tingling and slight pain in his bones were becoming more pronounced. Now traces of the oncoming change could be spotted on his arms and hands and his face. If he concentrated on that, his emotions wouldn't have the full reign they could have and would have otherwise had. He gave her a smile. At least, it was supposed to be a smile, but it translated to something more like a grimace. Had he realized this, he might have tried to rectify it, but as it was, he merely lowered his eyes, shaking his head before looking back to her.
"All I can do for her now is free her. I owe her that much after everything she's been through to be with me," he replied, pausing a moment as a semi-painful wave passed over him, and it was done. Hopefully no one came, no spy who had somehow received a tip, no Jaleth. No one. But Casey was accustomed to the change now, and once it was through, he continued to speak as though nothing had happened. "She'd be miserable because Julian and I would be miserable. She'd feel out of place because she wouldn't remember us. She'd be a shell, and it wouldn't be fair to keep her to myself no matter how I still feel for her" He added in his mind, "How I will always feel about her," quickly, his speech barely paused. "What she and I shared was special, and I will only find that once in my life, but I have to let it go. I have to free her and move on, be there for her if she needs me, but I have to keep myself distanced, enjoy what little time I have with her before telling her, and then move on completely...with you, if you'll have me."
He gave a breathy, nervous laugh. "I'm a basket case more often than not, and I bring baggage with me as well as a son who will probably hate you for a while, I'll be honest, but Kara, I can't deny what I feel for you any longer. It's been there for quite some time now, but I had a wife before. Now it's only on paper, paper Trevor's destroyed. He's won on that front. He accomplished what Voldemort could not: tearing us apart...not just once but twice...and we'll have at least one more break before it's over. I..." He swallowed, looking up and staring at the ceiling in a lame attempt to keep the tears from spilling, but he closed his eyes and they spilled over. He took a deep breath and sniffled a little before looking to Kara once more. "I love her, but I can't let my life end because of her. She wouldn't have wanted that. She was there for me, but that's the past. You are here now, and I would be such a fool to let you pass me by."
Kara Viridian Administrator Fugitive Order member is offline
Somebody tell me what made us all believe you...
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 109 Location: USA Karma: 4
Re: Can anybody find me... {Kevin} « Reply #6 on Jul 27, 2009, 10:40pm »
It was something she was already used to, this polyjuice shift. The guise he was under, that Kevin Bristow guy or whatever, was definitely something to look at but she definitely preferred his true form. His face was softer, though still gruff with age and experience, torn by war and the unrelenting pain of his past. It stung a bit, to hear him wound her with the knife of his existing love for his estranged wife, and it was a twist to hear him confess that the love for her would probably not go away. Kara followed Casey, word after word. She kept sipping at her ale, more and more as the seconds went by, and he was essentially spilling out everything that was on his mind, or at least, everything she wanted to hear. Most of it was stuff that she had to hear. Yes, he was always going to love Evelyn Winslow, the mother of his children, the love of his life. What she wasn’t expecting, however, was the part of the confession that followed.
Her eyes slowly widened, with each passing syllable. Then the tears started coming. It was like the power of suggestion; Kara saw the tears spill over as her beloved closed his eyes and she could not help but shed a few for herself. But she was weeping for something completely different. Sure, she understood where he was coming from, with his family being torn asunder by the events of war that shattered their lives since they attended Hogwarts, and even before that. Kara was also crying because she was so overwhelmed. This was what she was waiting for, right?
She blinked a couple of times, in attempts to focus the blur that swept over her vision. The scarred one looked down at her mug to discover all of the ale was gone. She just chugged down two full mugs of ale in a short period of time. How silly of me, she thought. It all must have disappeared while he was talking. She shakily put the emptied mug on the table and leaned back against the flattened cushion on her couch. This was so much to take in, she wasn’t sure what was happening. It was like it bounced out of her mind and come to life, a thought thread torn from her memories. Yes, she’d dreamt about this day, the day he would say he wanted her. She dreamt of this sort of thing often, especially after the Death Eaters took over the school. Kara was marked, forever in hiding, and she never thought she would see him again. She thought he was dead and gone forever, and her thoughts were merely that, hypothetical brainwaves that would stay fiction.
Yet, here they were, as real as could be. Tears in their eyes, her empty mug of ale, and a sudden urge to just…
”You are here now, and I would be such a fool to let you pass me by.”
She blinked again, taking in a deep breath to succumb to this reality. Yes, it was real, very real. And it seemed it was her turn to speak. ”C-Casey, I…” she stammered, unable to form a full sentence, she was astounded by the entirety of this situation. I don’t know what to say, is what she wanted to say. Kara just left it to silence to fill in that blank as she felt her heart beating faster and harder in her chest, the same up-tempo, hyperactive rhythm that it seemed to beat whenever she was in close proximity with him.
A single, ice cold tear slid down her cheek as she looked back at him with her big brown eyes. So many feelings, thoughts going on right now, it was hard for her to focus. Then they kept pouring as she sat there, looking as deep as she could into is beautiful eyes. What a sight, he was.
« Last Edit: Jul 27, 2009, 10:42pm by Kara Viridian »
Re: Can anybody find me... {Kevin} « Reply #7 on Sept 4, 2009, 11:50pm »
[justify] "C-Casey, I..."
Well, it was far from any response he'd imagined in his head. Acceptance or even rejection was desirable compared to this. This was neither. This could be her being overwhelmed and unable to form the thoughts of happiness into words or it could be her being too overwhelmed to figure out how to let him down gently. Of course, he believed the prior was true given the actions over their last meeting, the agreements. But as the tears began to fall while she looked into his eyes, he himself felt a little nervous and overwhelmed. Honestly, what was going through her mind? He wanted to know yet he didn't at the same time.
This was intense. Emotions were flying right and left in ways that he wasn't accustomed to. He had always been somewhat neutral when it came to expressing emotions to Evie, stuffing most of the time yet revealing in the heat of the moment when he was too caught up to stop himself, yet everything with Kara had seemed to be otherwise. It was almost as though the time he had spent during the months without contact with her pondering the weaknesses of his marriage to Evie had made him subconsciously decide to do things differently in this relationship with Kara, but he knew most of it had to do with the fact that at first he had had no one else to turn to and he had since grown used to it. Naturally, he still withheld things to try to spare her feelings as often as possible, but Kara made him feel safe and secure and the need to be emotionally strong seemed less when around her than it had ever seemed with Evie. Kara didn't make him feel judged.
With Evie, he'd always been afraid of her view changing because she'd known him as a teen. Kara hadn't. Kara hadn't seen the man he was going into the marriage with Evie and the man he had become two years later at nineteen when suddenly he was pushed through pretending to be a Death Eater so the Order could have a spy and fatherhood all in the course of a few highly stressful months that ended in injury and being bedridden. She'd only known him since then, first when he was an auror, then really known him when he was a professor. Maybe the fact that she had seen him and his family after Trevor had murdered his father had made him feel some sense of security. He didn't know; he didn't really care. All he knew was that it was.
Inhaling, he pushed himself a little closer, reaching out as he slowly exhaled to wipe away her tears, caressing her cheek before glancing down a moment to place his hand on hers. "Knut for your thoughts?" he requested. [/justify]
Kara Viridian Administrator Fugitive Order member is offline
Somebody tell me what made us all believe you...
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 109 Location: USA Karma: 4
Re: Can anybody find me... {Kevin} « Reply #8 on Oct 1, 2009, 11:12am »
His touch was silk.
His eyes were enough to make her melt.
Most importantly, Kara was wavering between the choices of jumping him right then and there, and keeping her modesty forward and her libido at bay. He'd asked for what was on her mind, after all. The ale mixed in with the longing to advance upon him was a deadly concoction, but Kara was going to take her time with this. She didn't want to scare him off, if he was in fact squeamish at the thought of being with her.
Wiping away the last of the tears that had fallen, Kara took a deep breath and attempted to finish her thought, at his request. "I just don't know where I'd be without you. I don't know if I would be able to wake up every day and go on with my life without you in it. I don't know if I'd be alive." These days have been trying for Kara, and the most painful few months she's ever been through. She'd reunited with her flame from Hogwarts, found out the man she loved was still alive, come into a big, well-known wizarding family and an inheritance she never dreamed of having.
Then as she counted her blessings, all of the bad things came crashing down on her. To the Order, she was some spoiled brat who happened to be born lucky. To Evie, she was the other woman. To Julian, she was the homewrecker, the evil step-parent. She was just making friends all over the place. "But I feel horrible for the circumstances you've been thrown into. I feel horrible that you've lost so much to be where you are now, and I've been stingy enough to keep you to myself." She bit her tongue. Of course Casey was a grown man and knew he could take care of himself, and could create affairs for himself. If he wanted, he could have any of the other women who were interested take him away.
"I just wish things were different. For us, I mean. To have to sneak you over here, endanger the both of us, I just feel so terrible." Now she was rambling. A tear hit her hand that was resting on her thigh and she leaned back, with a flushed face. Now she was crying again. "Merlin, I'm sorry...I know I'm such a mess." Kara was simply embarrassed that she was always a blubbering mess in front of Casey. She was also vulnerable, scared, and shaking. So many emotions bottled up, intentions, desires. She didn't know which way to turn.
« Last Edit: Oct 1, 2009, 11:13am by Kara Viridian »
Re: Can anybody find me... {Kevin} « Reply #9 on Oct 10, 2009, 4:38pm »
[justify] Casey shook his head at her apology. "Don't worry about it. This is hard for me, too. And yes, I did have to lose a lot, but maybe it was for the best, Kara--not so much losing Lydia or the twins, but the separation losing Evie caused." He paused for a split second, realizing how bad that sounded and quickly going to explain himself. "I mean, I love Evie, but things about her held me back; I felt like I had to hold up to this image of fun and young and happy because of how things used to be, but with you, I feel like I don't have to be worried about being judged for not being how I was as a teen. With you, I feel like if I have a down day, if I'm experiencing something, I can open up. There's not that self-perceived need to hold up some image when I'm here. There's no opinion to shatter when I tell you things. And yeah, right now with Evie there's no pressure either, but I look at her now and compare her to then, but...I can't get used to this. I can't accept to look at the woman I spent fifteen years getting to know, thirteen years of marriage with, had two children, nearly four, with and know that she doesn't remember any of it and might not ever remember it.
"And I know it's not easy for you, but you put up with me dealing with it, and you accept me where I am, for who I am, and I love that about you. I always have. There's been something about you, ever since you came to Hogwarts to research, that's made me feel secure about myself, like there are no cares in the world. Evie? She always wanted to talk, always wanted to force me to even if I wasn't ready. Don't get me wrong; she was great, but I don't think I could ever go back now, and I'm going to take our relationship, see how it goes, and enjoy it for as long as it lasts because I know I can't control what happens around us." And now he was beginning to regret the alcohol a bit. He was getting rambly as usual, didn't know when to stop, and now he looked like Merlin knows what to Kara right now. It wasn't like he meant any of what he said as he would have wished death on Evie at any moment just to be "free" of her or like he would have ever cheated on her because of those feelings he'd just said he'd had for Kara since the woman had come to the school.
Kara didn't know that necessarily, yet somehow it didn't matter. Nothing mattered right now. The fight with Julian earlier was far from his mind, and that slightly giddy feeling of being tipsy was taking over. Of course, that meant yakking poor Kara's ear off, but whatever, right? Whatever. For once, going with the flow sounded good. She wasn't going to kill him like Evie for going out and having a drink when he was upset. Naturally, Evie had probably been more upset in that instance because he'd tried to use her, and she wouldn't let him, so he went to take off, and she tried to offer herself to keep him there at the hotel but he wouldn't stay and came back so late, leaving her to feel incompetent and worry about where he was and what he was doing, but what did that even matter anymore? All of that was for nothing ultimately. Evie was dead. Evie was gone. Only her body still remained with some new occupant who was similar she felt like home yet different in her place. [/justify]
« Last Edit: Oct 26, 2009, 8:55am by Casey Winslow »
Kara Viridian Administrator Fugitive Order member is offline
Somebody tell me what made us all believe you...
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 109 Location: USA Karma: 4
Re: Can anybody find me... {Kevin} « Reply #10 on Oct 29, 2009, 2:27pm »
More ale...more ale. Kara kept thinking, in the awkward silence that fell like a warm blanket over the two of them. She realized her cheeks were slightly flushed and she was a tad sweaty from the tension filling the air, and wiped it away quickly (hoping Casey hadn't seen it) and leaned over to pour herself another mug of the ale from the pitcher on the table. However, her hopes were shot down when she rediscovered the empty pitcher of ale and she was now feeling a little tipsy. I should've just sat still... She thought, feeling the dizziness attacking her vision at once.
Her eyelids were a little heavy, but Kara was a show off, and wanted to show Casey how well she could actually hold in all of her liquor. She wasn't nauseous in the least..just a little dizzy. Kara also found the need to smile, for no apparent reason. Part of her felt a little greedy enough to hope that Casey was feeling the effects of the ale as well, so she wasn't the only one who was numb, buzzed to the deceptively potent beverage she'd served to the both of them.
"I'm sorry," She chuckled to herself. "What were we talking about?" Kara felt the rush of blood flow back into her cheeks, blushing at the fact that she was embarrassed for losing herself in his eyes, in the moment that she knew she was drunk. She just hoped he would be catering to her, with a light heart and a sense of humor, and not pity her or be angry that she happened to drop the topic of conversation.
Really, maybe it was the name Evie that made her shut down. Her inhibitions, her subconscious were all coming to life, thanks to the alcohol. Kara wanted this moment to be about them, not time wasted discussing times that have passed, times that were painful for the both of them. She brought him here to talk, sure, but Kara didn't know he was going to spill his guts about his ex-wife. Merlin, Kara was sick of hearing her name. At work, it was about avoiding her. At home, well, now that Casey was in her home...she was still having to deal with the turmoil and pain she'd left with him. It was as if she couldn't be rid of that damned witch.
Kara leaned on Casey's shoulder, wrapping her arm around him to find comfort. Maybe it was the alcohol bringing the touchy-feeliness in her, but she didn't hear a complaint...yet. If Casey had a problem with making contact with her in this way, he would have to say something. She didn't want to pull away just yet. Though, this put her in a terribly dangerous situation; The scarred one fought the urge to look up, back into the wonderful eyes of the man she was embracing.
Re: Can anybody find me... {Kevin} « Reply #11 on Nov 7, 2009, 2:36pm »
[justify] Well, there was his chance to ignore the Evie comment, and he wasn't sure if she'd really not been paying attention or the seeming dizziness as she'd leaned forward had distracted her enough to forget or if she was purposefully going to assume whatever he wanted just for a topic change. Whatever the case, it really didn't matter. He was glad for it, and he wasn't going to bother restating or explaining what he'd just said--not when there was a one-word explanation for it all that was honest because in the end it did boil back down to it. "You," therefore, was his answer as he found her close to him, her head on his shoulder and her arm around him.
He brought his arm across his body, resting his hand on her shoulder and the one nearest her around her waist. He wasn't going to deny the closeness. It felt nice. Maybe his night could turn around, if he played his cards right. He must not have done too much wrong so far if she was willing to cuddle, after all, right? Sure, he'd talked about Evie. But she'd kind of approached him when he seemed upset, knowing that could be the problem. She'd even gone into the whole relationship knowing that he was still dealing with the whole Evie issue even though on most occasions he tried to avoid bringing her up if he could. He knew talking about his wife wasn't the best thing in the world, especially since she was still alive and technically her "marriage" to Trevor wasn't valid due to his still being alive here. Maybe.
No, he wasn't going to allow himself to think about Evie now. He was trying to avoid her again now, trying to make this whole night better for the both of them, whether that meant getting up to get more ale for the both of them (Personally, however, he didn't believe having much more was a good idea on either of their parts) and talking about the good old days or simply cuddling here and falling asleep (It was tempting, after all, with how warm he was feeling from the ale and whatnot) or something else entirely. All that mattered was that whatever he did involved Kara and what she wanted because she'd taken a lot this evening listening to him rant about his son and stolen wife.
"You and how I'm such a lucky bastard to have someone as absolutely wonderful as you are in my arms," he added, figuring it couldn't hurt. At least he wasn't rambling at this point in time, though he had been earlier. Hopefully it stayed that way. He could go over-the-top if he rambled right now and it was sappy stuff. That would be the last thing he needed to do. [/justify]
« Last Edit: Nov 15, 2009, 3:11am by Casey Winslow »
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