Post by Justin McDowell on Oct 29, 2012 14:34:05 GMT -8
Justin felt nothing short of relief when Lissa melted into the embrace. He'd been partly afraid she would push him away still, but now, there was no doubt she wanted to be here. Maybe this didn't have to end the way he thought it was going to only moments ago. Maybe she wouldn't leave him. Maybe they could still be together. Maybe he could finally be happy again. Maybe he could finally laugh again rather than simply go through the motions, faking smiles and working through much-too-easy pranks with Ryder and his cousin just to seem normal and unaffected, just to avoid the questions and the pitying looks that had started after Pandora's incident and faking it had been just a bit too difficult a day or two.
Just... She had to stay. He didn't see any other way. He'd felt so dead since receiving Lissa's letter after their first kiss, and Pandora's incident and the ensuing relations with Sofi had left him feeling even more dead. Certainly, the encounters with Sofi had at least made him feel temporarily alive, but at the same time, they left him wanting. They left him more frustrated, and more withdrawn. The moment he'd received Lissa's letter had been after one such incident, and he had felt exhilaration washing over him, completely pushing away the darkness. That had only intensified when he'd seen Lissa's face despite his angry actions. She was a light in the darkness. He was like a moth to the flame. Cliche but true.
"I just want you safe... I want you to be happy..." That and the sigh roused Justin from his own thoughts and forced his attention completely back to the young woman in his arms. "You can't end up like me... Justin, you just can't." He frowned, though she couldn't see it since he was still holding onto her, and he remained silent a few moments, trying to figure out exactly what he was supposed to say that wouldn't make him come across as some lovestruck, completely obsessed fool.
"I'm not happy without you, Lissa," he said after what felt like forever had passed. He pulled away a little to look at her, though his hands remained on her body, moving from her back to her shoulders. "I'm not. Between losing you and what happened to Panda.... I don't even see the point in a lot of stuff anymore. We could leave here... We could go somewhere, get away..."