Post by nadia on Jun 19, 2009 0:51:40 GMT -8
13 December 2010
It has been nearly a year since "Lord" Williams took control. In two months and one day it will be. But it has been even longer since the slaughter of several innocents began. My mother was likely amongst them. In some ways I believe it would have been better for her should she have died rather than be enslaved. Being powerless amongst the powerful couldn't be easy. I hope it was a fate she evaded. And father? I still have no idea what has come of him. Hopefully he stayed away from London. True, I don't believe that the Death Eaters would have targeted him specifically should he have chosen to look for mother and I, but...
I don't know. It's nearly Christmas yet again, and for the second time I have been helping preoccupy the children with putting up decorations around the manor, but I'm finding it even more difficult to get into the spirit even just for them. I smile and pretend, but that's just it...it all feels so artificial and meaningless without family. Most of them still have theirs, though there are some who don't, and it is for them I feel most. I wish we could do something special for all the children, but we need to use what little money we manage to get for supply runs for food and sometimes clothes. It's more important than some little toy, but still, just to see the light in some of their eyes as Santa remembered them would be wonderful. Couldn't we have found a muggle-born toy maker or something? Yes, silly, but...
Part of me has become disenchanted with the idea of Damien and even the safe house itself. Certainly, it is a very noble effort to house those who are in need because they are fugitives, but let's be honest. How long can he really keep us all? Eventually money will run out. It would be better to start putting effort toward getting people away from the UK and Ireland to where they can start a new life. Keeping everyone holed up in here? I don't know. It's just...children should be allowed to be children far more often, not confined to the grounds of this place no matter how vast they may seem. Yes, magic can accomplish wonders with size, but...
And Damien, he's head of some secret organization that only a few here are part of. However, I never see or hear tale of them accomplishing anything. What is it? For what purpose does it exist? Is it really accomplishing that purpose or set of purposes? I don't know. Everything just seems to be succumbing to this, so why not displace people to various places around the world where they can be safe and live out the rest of their lives together as families? There is no way so few can fight so many, after all. This is to be the fate of my beloved nation: ruled by a tyrant while her true people hide. Such a great way to get things done, isn't it?
I sound bitter, but is that so inconceivable that it cannot be understood? I don't think it is.
~ Nadia.